The past couple months, my body has been nothing like what I’m used to. With no real provocation, my achilles and my shoulders pretty much gave up on working without a fair amount of pain, and the physio appointments became more regular than my meal schedule. The physio of course laid it out as the inevitable result of youthful exuberance mixed with missing the youthful part, along with the fact that over the years I have been my shoulders’ worst enemy. I had no choice but to suck it up and calm down, at least for a while.
It’s weird to not feel like I can rely on my body. Even when I screwed myself and got injured, even when I had to get my shoulder repaired 20 years ahead of schedule, I knew I’d be able to bounce back and go back to kicking ass. I’m less sure of that now. I know I can build myself up to good shape again, but I’m walking a tenuous and gradually eroding cliff edge. It’s hard to be positive when you feel like an invalid without the pleasure of even earning it.
over the rise 