Even though I have no trouble writing about my thoughts and opinions, in both objective and grossly biased ways, I have the worst time writing about myself from the 3rd person perspective. I imagine I’m not alone in this. I hate talking myself up, but I also can’t be very self-depricating because I still think I’m pretty awesome. See, even that little bit there? Those last two words? That took some effort.
I hate, hate writing resume cover letters explaining why someone would be an outright fool to hire someone else. I flail when writing a self-bio. I start writing something about myself, and my brain kicks in to remind me of all the things about me that oppose what I just wrote. For instance:
Me: “Reuben has traveled extensively, and loves to spend time outdoors.”
My Brain: Oh really? Is that why you spent all last night on the couch playing Xbox?
Me: It was my night off!
My Brain: Mm hmm, and “extensively”? I seem to recall you spending your twenties working a desk job and spending all your time in your room.
Me: Fine! “Reuben has barely gone anywhere and sits on his ass a lot.” How’s that?
My Brain: Don’t be so hard on yourself!
Me: Shut up. Just… shut up.