I am irritated daily by my co-worker’s very existence. His laughter at the end of almost every statement, even basic observations such as, “The hot water tap in the kitchenette is broken,” is like nails on the chalk board of my brain. His habit of blinking like a hummingbird’s wings when he’s confused, which is constantly, makes me want to slap him. His inability to think with any depth without muttering loudly to himself has made listening to music a requirement at work so I don’t beat him with his own cell phone, which is set to ring at the maximum volume any of the many times his wife calls each day. Top this off with his complete lack of creativity and servile demeanor, both of which offend every fiber of my being, and he is in essence a human rash to me.
I’m not normally one to consistently dislike anyone (outside a couple dedicated arch-nemeses), and he’s far too well-intentioned for me to hate him, but damned if I can help being glad when he’s not around.