Get out the blindfold

Posted: January 27, 2006 in Uncategorized

I’m not really an emotionally-driven person. For the most part, I’m able to either unconciously or conciously run on an even keel, keeping my mood neither manic nor depressive, but in a sort of comfortable contentment. Really, I just don’t like emotional extremes and the lack of logical control that accompanies them. Of course I have emotions on a daily basis, but my core state is rarely swayed. In a nutshell, you could call me a self-control freak.

But every so often, my emotional polarity swings out of balance, which given the chaotic and transitional nature of life is inevitable. This is especially true when love is involved, which is really just a nebulous force of pure emotional upheaval, like a weak point in our emotional tectonics creating volcanos of feeling overnight and killing off logic without warning like so many Greek villagers. But this change in state, regardless of the cause, is so uncomfortable for me that it’s distracting, and I have a hard time functioning normally.

The only really good way for me to re-balance myself is isolation. On a fairly regular basis, I reach my limit and have to disappear for an indeterminate amount of time. Sometimes it’s just holing up in my house for a day and staying off the infogrid. Sometimes it’s a long road trip. I just have to deprive myself of significant emotional triggers until I’m able to regain balance, and I’m fully functional once again.

Beats the hell out of alcoholism, and it’s cheaper too.

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